Essay

 

Aiming for Perfection

I abandoned the old me to make room for the new and improved me. All that I once was I have sacrificed to achieve perfection, and sometimes I donít even recognize myself any more. But I guess that is the price to pay when you are aiming for perfection.

I find looking back at my life revolting. I try not to think about my past, cause it would try to crawl up and invade my present life and influence my future. The past should stay in the past. I will not allow it to contaminate what I have achieved. I left it behind for a reason. But no matter how hard I try to ignore the person I once was, I can never truly escape it.

Once I believed in people. I believed that every single person was basically good, till they started to show me other sides. Once I believed that being yourself and being real was the way to live and would always make you happy in the end, till I discovered that happiness never knocked on my door. Once I believed in many things, but luckily I had a revelation.

The past me was naÔve, immature and had a tendency to but other peoples needs before its own. The present me is rude, inconsiderate and extremely selfish. That is what it took to reach perfection. That is the price for success. But was it worth it? 

To achieve perfection I had to leave that part of me in the past in order for me to accomplish something greater in life. I am aiming high and I intend to hit the bullís-eye right in the middle. Nothing less is sufficient. And in order to do so, I have to say my farewells and good riddance to whom I once was. But am I willing to sacrifice an important part of myself. And for what, Perfection?

Maybe it was not impossible to reach my goal as the person I was. If I had hold on to past me. Perhaps it would have been harder with all of its moral and ethic, which I abandon along with it, but maybe not impossible. Along with leaving the weak side of me, I also left the side of me that made me human. As much as I hate it, I have realized that leaving yourself does not bring perfection. It only creates an entire new person where there is nothing real left.